You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
