Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
