So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
