i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
