he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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