idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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