she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
