So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
lol hangovers are for mortals.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
