Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize