What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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