dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
