You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
