Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
