ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We had sex on a dog bed..
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
