Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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