Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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