I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize