And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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