If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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