week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
