he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
