she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
