oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
