i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
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