Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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