i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
lets start a swedish sibling band together
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize