So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
