we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
