no. you can't hotbox the world.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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