I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
