Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize