Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
