his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
