If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
