i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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