Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
