Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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