a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
