Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I need moral support for this bender
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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