In the future we'll all be gay
It's Friday. Sex?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
do herpes really smell.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
