Me too!
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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