How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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