it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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