Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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