My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
