i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I will be naked everywhere
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
