you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize