new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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