If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
