I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
vagina is talking i cant
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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