Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
