what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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