office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
there was a trapeze. enough said
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
