Swine flu. Run for my life!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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