I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
