I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
