But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
