We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
