im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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