Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
