I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
