If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
