And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
