11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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