when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
