i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
