He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
